The following is an entry from my journal written in December 2007.
Sometimes I worry that I’m not with the Lord enough, that He is always shoved out by circumstances. Today, the Lord is again telling me to trust Him. As I was trying to pray, He said, “Can’t you see how much striving is in you trying to come to me?” And I saw it. He showed me how my way of trying to relate to Him is like setting up a Holy of Holies again. In my mind, there is a sacred place (time with God), and I have to go there to find Him. Like the Psalmist, I lament and ask, “When can I go and meet with God?” (Psalm 42:2). But God would have me rest in the truth: we are the Holy of Holies in Christ. The gospels could be read as an account of the Holy of Holies in action. Jesus was (and is) God’s dwelling place. He did pray and fellowship with His Father but that time was not a Holy of Holies which He entered and left when it was time to minister. Under the old covenant, where did ministry happen? In the temple, where God was. Where does it happen now? In the temple which we are in Christ, where God dwells. In the gospels, we see the Holy of Holies fellowshipping in prayer with His Father of whom He said, “You in I and I in you” (John 17:21). We see this fellowshipping interrupted by disciples, needs, situations—life crowding around Him like the multitudes He healed, taught, and touched with His love. But the Holy of Holies isn’t left in order to deal with circumstances and ministry. The Holy of Holies Himself ministers, meets need, touches hearts. He hasn’t broken off from fellowship with God. There has been no change in the fact that God dwells in Him. It is just a continuation of that fellowship and indwelling. Appearances have changed but the state of the Holy of Holies has not. It is “You in I and I in you,” whether praying, casting out demons, or spending time with family. God wants me to rest in being the Holy of Holies in Christ, not anxiously strive to create conditions or circumstances in which I believe I am more with Him.