The following is an excerpt from my personal journal, written in June 2020. It’s raw in places but we’re all feeling a little raw so I thought it might encourage someone else.
Today, coronavirus restrictions are in their 13th week. Protests and riots over the murder of George Floyd are going into their 3rd week, and have left many cities across America smoldering, looted, and fractured. Last night, my wife read comments by author JK Rowling, who was defending her belief in two sexes—male and female—against detractors. Rowling argued that feminism & homosexuality have no meaning if we reject our belief in two sexes. More and more we find special interest groups baring the fangs of entitlement and grievance. Today, the city council in Minneapolis announced plans to dismantle their police force. When asked who people would call if they were, say, burglarized at night, a council woman answered that expecting safety and help from police was “coming from a place of privilege….”
Something shifted in me yesterday. I find myself unable to relate to the world I live in anymore. A world where people asking about safety are accused of arrogance and ignorance; a world where dismantling foundational social structures (like police) is even discussed; a world that is a dogfight where those not snarling and ripping flesh from each other are cheering and placing bets; a world in denial about simple facts like male and female, where such facts are defended, not for their own sake, but to protect the validity of sexual sin; a world that seems intent on burning to ash in the fires of self-righteousness and looting whatever is left.
My first reaction was to move away from everything and find a hermitage where I can live my life and let everyone else go to hell if they want. I honestly haven’t known how to process life in a world where I have no place, where my values are so foreign I no longer belong. Like Moses, I am a stranger in a strange land (Exodus 2:22; 1 Peter 2:11).
I began earnestly asking the Lord how to respond to all this, how to live in such a world. His answer came quick and was brief: “Your purpose and calling haven’t changed.” My purpose is still to live Christ, to be a dwelling where He can be seen and known. My calling is still to tell people about Jesus, who has revealed Himself in me. All of this is because of something more fundamental: the Lord hasn’t changed. Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. In one sense, the world and its chaos is completely irrelevant. The Lord wants to bring people out of the world’s self-destruction and confusion. But that self-destruction and confusion have no bearing on Him or His mission. Nor does it on mine, if it is aligned with God’s.
Of course, I can’t but feel the effects of the world; I can’t help but feel nauseated as it spins like a compass without true north. I’m only human. But Christ is divine and my anchor; He is the bedrock that will remain after we have torn everything on the top layer to shreds.