I have mentioned that I’m in a season of rest. The Lord has limited projects and study. Sometimes this has left me feeling bewildered and directionless.
Now and then I ask the Lord if there’s something else He wants me to start doing since most of what I used to do has stopped. I haven’t received any new direction.
The other night, I decided to talk with the Lord about this again. Since He’s asked me to put aside most activities that are meaningful to me, was there anything I could do that is meaningful to Him? I was not prepared for His answer.
In response to my question, the Lord said, “You are meaningful to me.” Isn’t it just like the Lord to address the real issue and not the question we ask?
For the last few days I’ve been thinking about what Jesus said to me. Thinking about it short-circuits my brain, to be honest. I can’t find anything meaningful about myself. I am meaningful (in my mind) because of what I do, how I contribute, etc. I can’t understand God valuing…just me.
It’s honestly preposterous. The idea that God loves me without fine print makes no sense. And yet, this is the gospel. After 20ish years of walking with the Lord, I guess it’s time I get on board with the gospel 😉 I guess it’s time I start thinking like God, time to connect to *real* purpose–just me dwelling in Him and Him in me.
My mind still wants to take this conversation in the direction of activities. It’s great God loves me but what am I supposed to do for the 17 or so hours a day I’m awake? The answer is probably this: If God’s love for *just me* doesn’t go to my core, it doesn’t much matter what I do all day. Spiritually, none of it will make a difference. By contrast, if God’s love permeates me then even mundane tasks become divine.
God is trying to move my thinking onto different ground entirely. Where I am trying to relate to Him–in the realm of doing and activities–is not where He is. It’s as if I’ve come to the tomb where I expected to find Him only to be told, “He is not here. He is risen!”
Not finding the Lord where you expect Him is disorienting at first. But it is also wonderful. It means finding Him where He is–outside our expectations. And where else would we find God? If He was always what we expect, always within what we can think or imagine, what would that look like? The answer is easy. It’s called idolatry.
So when God isn’t where we have always found Him, there’s only one thing to do: follow. Whether it makes sense or not, whether we understand or not. Even if we come with halting steps or, possibly, crawling, His heart toward us is the same. He just desires that we come into His heart-view and live there.
12 Comments Add yours
I was reading the story of Mary and Martha, in the house, with Jesus. One sitting at His feet, the other busy with stuff. Much in those passages.
Your post reminded me of that story. Thanks
Absolutely! I almost included a reference to that passage but clearly the Lord wanted you to bring that! Thanks 🙂
I’ve been in a period of rest for a while too. It is quite disturbing at times for a bull-in-the-china shop kind of person like me. My personality is one that wants to be charging forward with a plan…or without one if one does not readily present itself. Better to drive half an hour around a road block than wait half an hour at a stop sign, ya know? God has had me on my heals just “AM-ing” with Him. (I’ve had friends asking if I’m okay because this just isn’t normal.) The kingdom of God starts with a state of being. He is the I AM. And because He is, then I am. That is what He is working on in me right now. AM-ing.
Why does God love us like He does? Because it is who He is. Love is His nature. In this time of waiting, I am asking for it to become my nature as well. I’m hoping when I am allowed to surge forward again that it will be a different me, a wiser me, a more loving me, that will lead the way. “We love because he first loved us.” I am beginning to have a whole new belief in love. I always believed about it, now I believe in it.
Excellent, it sounds like the Lord has us in a similar season. I will include you in my prayers that patience has its perfect work within (James 1). Many blessings, & keep me posted on how it’s going via comments or email (email@example.com).
Your post fits so perfectly with where I’m at in my struggle to rest in the finished work. Sometimes I wonder if my periods of rest are really just me coming up for air; when really he’s just trying to drown me into his baptism. I’m beginning to wonder if my struggle of what to do, is more about how I’m being taught how to be. Thanks for sharing.
Right on the money, brother. Thanks for your thoughts!
The Lord has been talking to me about the “glories” and “loves.” 1peter 1:11 mentions the “glories,” and 2pe and jude the “loves.” We usually mistranslate or misunderstand these plural words of a familiar concept.
Sounds interesting. Can you explain a bit more?
Its so hard for us to think that God loves us , not because of what we do, or what we don’t do, but because of who we are in Christ Jesus. We cant add or subtract from God . Our fleshly minds just thinks we must earn our way, when Jesus has made the Way, and it is finished ..in Him!
Amen! Hi Teague, I don’t usually follow a blog…not really sure how to do it…Judith forwarded the link for me to read because she thought it related to my “Be still and know that I am God” that the Lord put on my heart. What you wrote really ministers to me. Thank you, Kay